Funny Sexist Pick Up Lines (30 Lines to Pick Up and Put Off)

Imagine you see someone across the party, on the other side of the bar, or out early like you getting a coffee at your local spot. At that moment, you feel an icy chill of discomfort mixed with an honest interest in this person, but do you introduce yourself or disappear without a word? Click here to see a guide that I recommend that explains how to talk to women and to use your body language to attract them.

If you are reading this article, perhaps it has already occurred to you what a pickup line can do to make a splash and get a laugh. You can pull from our list of funny, sexist pick up lines to make a manly impression or if your potential date has a sense of humor.

This list of sexist pick up lines does a little more than the average pick up line that establishes three primary things: the first thing they do is initiate you and your partner into conversation; then, they help you to make a lasting impression through wit; and, finally, they can help you transition into a larger, more mutual and satisfying conversation in which you exchange interest (and possibly numbers). Our sexist, funny pick up lines on this list perform a fourth action: they do a test for your partner’s sense of humor (or lack thereof) since there is a good chance the wrong woman would be offended by some of these crude lines.

Now that you understand what pick up lines do, let us talk about how they work in two essential ways: 1) They spark an interest in someone’s mind through rhymes, questions, rhythm, and wordplay; and, they encourage conversation or at least a reaction that can be read by the user in order to continue the conversation or back out. These lines go a little further than some of the more family-friendly lines out there, but many of them go just far enough to test for your lady’s funny bone.

You can use the lines on our list as a jumping board to create some of your own bold and suggestive pickup lines, or you can use these “out-of-the-box” next time you bump into that possible, special someone.

The Top 30 Funny and Sexist Pick Up Lines

  1. Did you grow up on a chicken farm? ‘Cause you sure know how to raise a cock.
  2. Your smile is almost as big, warm, and lovely as my penis!
  3. Do you run track? Cause I heard you Relay want this dick.
  4. You might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a light switch away.
  5. I hope you like dragons because I’ll be dragon my balls across your face tonight.
  6. I’ll kiss you in the rain, so you get twice as wet.
  7. Your beauty is why God invented eyeballs, but your booty is why God invented my balls!
  8. Do you wash your panties with Windex? Because I can really see myself in them.
  9. Is it hot in here, or are your boobs just huge?
  10. I’m peanut butter, you’re jelly, let’s have sex.
  11. The word of the day is “legs.” Let’s go back to my place and spread the word.
  12. You have a beautiful voice. I bet it would sound even better muffled by my penis.
  13. Sit on my face and let me get to ‘Nose’ you better
  14. If the sun were to stop shining, I’d be your source of vitamin D.
  15. I’m with the TSA and I need to perform a full body cavity search, for security reasons.
  16. I’m bigger and better than the Titanic – only 200 women went down on that vessel!
  17. You wanna go out this weekend? [Sorry, I have a boyfriend] I have a math test tomorrow [What?] Oh, I thought we were talking about things we could both cheat on!
  18. I could’ve called heaven and asked for an angel, but I was hoping you’re a slut instead.
  19. Don’t you think most people who use pick-up lines are dipsticks? (Yes.) In that case, mind if I check your oil level?
  20. “I have this magic watch that can actually talk to me. Seriously, it’s saying something right now. It says that you’re not wearing any underwear, is that true?.” [No.] “Oh wait, my watch is an hour fast!
  21. Want to play lion tamer? You could get on all fours and I’ll put my head in your mouth.
  22. There are so many things you can do with the human mouth… why waste it on talking?
  23. You remind me of a championship bass, I don’t know whether to mount you or eat you.
  24. If I washed my dick, would you suck it? [No] Oh, so you like to suck dirty dicks.
  25. Please tell your boobs to stop looking at my eyes
  26. Oh, you’re a bird watcher. [Pull out your dong] Well, would you take this for a swallow?
  27. Damn girl I’d love to kiss those beautiful, luscious lips. And the ones on your face.
  28. Does your ass have Allstate insurance? [No, why?] Well do you want it to be in good hands?
  29. (Use index finger to call someone over then say) I made you come with one finger, imagine what I could do with my whole hand.
  30. Miss, If you’ve lost your virginity, can I have the box it came in?

Using Humorous and Sexist Pick Up Lines

So, you got your list of incredibly funny and incredibly sexist pick up lines! What do you think would happen if you got a number, a date, or a hookup by dropping one of these lines at the bar? As we mentioned, these top 30 pick up lines that are both funny and sexist are essential to know and use the next time you run into that hot lady with a sense of humor.

In the world of pick up lines—especially those that push buttons and boundaries—there are no guarantees. That is why you must remember that the function of the pickup line is simple and two-fold: you first intrigue your supposed love partner, and you get a conversation rolling. The pickup lines like those hysterical selections above can be an effective start to an interaction since they are brazen, bold, and really make for a belly laugh.

Unfortunately, none of them promise to get you what the pickup lines often advertise. Instead, your own behavior and engagement after the line is dropped is what will decide—in addition to your pick up line choice—success or flop. Pickup lines are a great start, but if you really want to learn how to talk women and how to use your body language to attract them, I suggest that you click here to view a guide that I recommend. 


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